Saturday, December 4, 2010

Suthakam and Asowcham

Suthakam-Asowcham
Compiled by P.R.Ramachander

Many of you may not familiar with this Sanskrit terminology and would find the above words difficult to understand. In our parts (village near Trichur), it is called Pelai and Valamai. Possibly different terminologies are used about it among our community itself in different parts. An article in this subject has been written by SriVatsa Ve. Somadeva Sharma in the latest issue of Brhama Sandesham (april 2003). This is based on an authoritative book called “Vaidyanatha Deekshitham-Asowcha Kandam.”I am giving here only the high lights Please note that Gnathi or Sapindar or Dayadhi are all those people who belong to seven generations of our paternal Family.

Suthakam or Valamai
This is the ten-day period of exclusion observed by certain family members when a child is born in the family. If a male child is born in a family all the Gnathis have to observe ten days of exclusion .If a sraddham comes during this period it has to be carried out after ten days only. Normally people do not visit temples during this period. This is not applicable to unmarried girls and Brahmacharis in the family. They are not affected by Suthakam,
A: The following people should observe Valamai* for 10 days: -

1.Married Brothers of the newborn baby
2.Married Step and half brothers
3.Wives of the brothers
4.Father, Fathers brothers
5.Paternal cousins of father
6.Paternal grandfather and his brothers and paternal cousins and their wives.

The following people should observe three days of exclusion: -

1.Maternal grandfather and grandmother

The following people should observe one day of exclusion: -

1.Uncle of the baby

The mother should observe 30 days exclusion in case of male child and 40 days exclusion in case of female child. After this she should wear new Mangalya Charadu, and take Panchagavyam. After this only she is eligible to touch the vessels in the house.

B: Asowcham or Pelai

During this period except bath and sandhya vandanam nothing else should be performed.

(1) Ten days Pelai

The following people should observe Pelai if death occurs in the family except in case when the male baby dies before ten days of birth or after marriage in case of female children: -
1.Father
2.Mother
3.Brothers
4.Step and half brothers
For male children of less than 7 years who had upanayanam and all of them above seven years, all the gnathis should observe ten days Pelai
(2) Three days Pelai
When death occurs to the above category of people the following people should observe three days of Pelai
1.Maternal grand parents
2.Maternal uncle and his wife
3.Parents in law
4.Mother’s sisters
5.Paternal aunts (Athai)
6.Sisters son whose Upanayanam is performed
7.Daughter’s son whose upanayanam is performed
8.Gnathis above seven generation called Samonathakar
9.Married daughter
10.Married sister
11.Real parents in case of adopted child
12.Son who has been given in adoption
13.All girls in families of Gnatis who are above 7 years but not married
14.From 25 month old to 6 years male children in Gnathis families who did not have upanayanam
(3) Special three days Pelai for married girls that is not shared by their husband or children
1.Brother who had Upanayanam
2,Brothers son who had Upanayanam
3.Sister’s son who had upanayanam
4.Step Mother of mother
(4) one and half days Pelai(two nights and a day or two days and one night)
(a)For Males
1.Paternal Aunts children
2.Maternal uncle’s children
3.Mother’s sisters and their children
4.Sister’s daughter
5.Married daughter of own brother
6.Daughter of paternal uncles
7.Son’s daughter
8.Daughter’s daughter
9.Daughter’s son whose Upanayanam has not been performed
10.Sister’s son whose upanayanam has not been performed

(b)For Ladies
1.Paternal uncles and their children
2.Maternal aunts and their children
3.Maternal uncle and their children
4.Paternal aunt and their children
5.Paternal grand parents
6.Maternal grand parents
7.Own sister and her daughter
8.Brother’s daughter

Ramachander

179 comments:

  1. Thanks For detailed update on this.. But still need a small clarificacation on above. As I was planning to go sabarimalai and during this period my Dad's Elder Sister passed away. In this scenario, how many days pelai for me.(am married and having child too).

    Swami sarnam

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just want to give a quick advise to any one out there that is having difficulty in findng their Lost or Missing one to contact Dr.Agbazara because he is the only one that is capable to bring back your love once with his spiritual powers within time limit of 48 hours Like he did for me. You can contact Dr.Agbazara by email on ( agbazara@gmail.com ) OR Call/WHATSAPP: +234 81041 0 2662. And see wonders for your self.

      Delete
  2. You have asoucha for two days and one night after the death,

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear sir,

    I have a question. We are brahmins. My uncle who is elder brother to my father has expired a few months ago. He has the same surname as we have. Now it is said in vedas that we must follow one year suthakam right. Does it applies to his children or all gollakota[our surname] people? Are we eligible to celebrate festivals in this one year or not? Please do clarify my doubt. thanks

    Gayathri.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a question. We are brahmins. My uncle who is elder brother to my father has expired a few months ago. He has the same surname as we have. Now it is said in vedas that we must follow one year suthakam right. Does it applies to his children or all gollakota[our surname] people? Are we eligible to celebrate festivals in this one year or not? Please do clarify my doubt. thanks

      Delete
    2. I have a question. We are brahmins. My uncle who is elder brother to my father has expired a few months ago. He has the same surname as we have. Now it is said in vedas that we must follow one year suthakam right. Does it applies to his children or all gollakota[our surname] people? Are we eligible to celebrate festivals in this one year or not? Please do clarify my doubt. thanks

      Delete
    3. Yes Suthakam applies to all members who carryout the surname. Earlier times it was said that the people who carry same gothram used to do this but those times it was possible due to less population and habitation was near. All the rules what the family follows applies to you as well.

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  4. These are more of a practice of families.Please do follow your family custom, Ramachander

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  5. sir,
    i am nambisan residing in kannur district of kerala. i had my upanayanam. my father being an atheist did not put me through the brahmanical rituals. now after completing my graduation i am feeling incomplete as a brahmin. i even dont know whether i am a rig vedi or other ones. i want to live like a brahmin, not because it is the most superior one, instead it gives u opening to the world of great knowledge. please sir help me out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great to see this post. I know many people who have started learning vedas after 18- 20 years. It is just a matter of getting a Guru. Start searching for a learned person who can guide you near your place.
      You already undergone upanayanam, so you are ready for next steps.
      Forget about what happenned till now, concentrate on what needs to be done.
      You can search in the net for stories of bopadeva, satyakama jabaala etc for inspiration.

      Delete
    2. Sir my parents have thought me as they new,yet i am incomplete..mahaperiyava has paved way for all these kind of things...reach out to a guru...only he can remove the confusion..all the buck stops with a guru in place.. wrote my mind sorry for the learned people on this platform...

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  6. what is mean by danuta panchami?

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  7. My mother died 20days ago.is my father come to my home for stay.
    I am the second daughter married having 2 children's.

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    Replies
    1. No. He should not visit to anyone till he visits your maternal uncle's or your maternal grandfather's home.

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  8. My son's marriage is fixed before the apthiagam rituals of my father. What are the rules as per brahmin custom - iyers for the masigam to be performed before and after his marriage. Would be obliged for an answer.

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    Replies
    1. It is said that one should not talk about marriages and upanyanams in this one year.

      Delete
  9. We are from a Tamil Iyer Brahmin (Vadama) family. I have my widowed mother. My maternal chitappa (mother's sister's husband) passed away on 5th April 2015. Can I attend the 9th,10th day rituals ?

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  10. You can definitely attend the tenth day rituals as well as the last day function.

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  11. Dear sir

    My mother passed away 6 months ago, now can i go for temples like tirupathi, sabarimala, please advice me

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  12. Dear sir
    My Chittappa (my father's father (grandpa) and my chittappa's father are brothers) passed away last month, how long should we refrain from going to Kula devatha temple and hill temples like palani. Also can we go to temples to perform our "nerchai". Should we need to wait for 1 yr to complete

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  13. Dear sir
    My grandfather brothers wife expired on 6th I was planning to go to tirupathi can we visit the temple before 10th day

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  14. If it is your paternal grand father , you should not go to the temple.

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  15. When mother's sister's son passes away how many days Asowcham to be observed

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  16. Hello sir,
    My grandfathers brother's son passed away on March. Me, my parents, my grandparents stay together, so I wanted to know can we celebrate ganesh chaturthi this year?

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  17. My husband's chittappa' son is blessed with a female child. How many days valamai is to be observed?

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  18. Dear Sir,

    My paternal Grand father brothers wife passed away.

    Will it be a 3 day Asoucham or 10 day Asoucham for me, kindly guide

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  19. My friends daughter wedding is on 23 of October ... Brides paternal grand father expired on 18 October ..... Can the wedding continue on the said day .... They belong to choudary caste of Hindus .....

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  20. Dear sir,
    My father brothers wife passed away on may 2015. Can I go Sabarimala yathra this year or should wait for 1 year.

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  21. Dear sir,

    My son was born at 2 am.... so how is punyavchanam date to be calculated.... 2am on saturday so is it a friday or saturday he was born to be taken.... please advise...

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  22. whwn a grandson or grand daughter is borne for how days we have to observe for resuming devatarchana like siva panchayatana pooja and gayatri

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  23. sir my name is naveen iam 31 years old born in 12 jan 1984 at 3 am ---recently i got my marriage fixed with jyothi 25 years old age ----the problem is the marriage date is on 20 novermber 2015 suddenly our grandfathers brother wife died on 29 october 2015 ---should i wait for one year --or i can marry in the same date -- if i have to wait for some time --how much time i should wait--- please tell me fast sir

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  24. sir my name is naveen iam 31 years old born in 12 jan 1984 at 3 am ---recently i got my marriage fixed with jyothi 25 years old age ----the problem is the marriage date is on 20 novermber 2015 suddenly our grandfathers brother wife died on 29 october 2015 ---should i wait for one year --or i can marry in the same date -- if i have to wait for some time --how much time i should wait--- please tell me fast sir

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  25. sir my name is naveen iam 31 years old born in 12 jan 1984 at 3 am ---recently i got my marriage fixed with jyothi 25 years old age ----the problem is the marriage date is on 20 novermber 2015 suddenly our paternal grandfathers brother wife died on 29 october 2015 ---should i wait for one year --or i can marry in the same date -- if i have to wait for some time --how much time i should wait--- please tell me fast sir

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  27. What solution for avittam Panjemi. My dad die in 19-11-2015 on avittam Panjemi...

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  29. dear sir,
    i have a question .my dads uncle who is younger brother to my grand father ha expired a few days ago he has same surname as we have .he had no children then my father did karma.now it said in vedas that we must follow one year suthakam .does it applies for me.are we aligible to celebrate festivals and we can do marriage to my daughter or not?
    please clarify my doubt
    thank u

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  30. Dear Sir,

    My father expired 4 months back. For How long I should not visit Tirupathi ? My Kula deivam is Narasinga perumal.

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  31. Dear Sir,

    My father expired 4 months back. For How long I should not visit Tirupathi ? My Kula deivam is Narasinga perumal.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hi Sir,
    My sister & myself planning to buy land and want to build 2 floor house.Can we stay in same land.I heard brother and sister should not live on same land or house.Is it true.

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  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  34. Dear sir, what if I am planing to get married this or next year & my soon going to be husband's grandfather's demise occurs in this year.. What are the rules for getting married now.. How many years should we wait..??

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  35. Sir
    Namaskaram

    There is a boy whose elder brother passed away on May 2014 and on this Jan 2016 his mother passed away.
    When can he get married?
    can he go for registered marriage in March 2016?

    highly obliged

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  36. My mother in law mother passed away. Do I have pelai?

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  37. My mother in law mother passed away. Do I have pelai?

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  38. I can perform char dham yatra of uttarakhand if my wife pregenant

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  39. Dear Sir,
    My paternal grandfather's elder brother's daughter in law expired on 2Feb 2016, i was told that we cannot go to temples till the 13th day, can we visit Tirupati during this year.

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  40. My husband Mama passed away. How many days we have pellai?

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  41. Mama, Namaskaram...Of course there are observations exclusive for the ladies.. not including the husband.. But there is no exclusion for the wife when the husband is to observe aasaucham.. So if maternal uncle is liable for aasaucham, aunt or mami is also to observe.. and even if the mama is dead, mami will have to observe.. Likewise,if maruman is to observe pelai, marumans wife also should observe the same.. and this is binding even if the maruman is dead.. This is what I understand from your post and also from texts like smrithi chandrika, though, the matter is just settled by a statement that every aasaucham affecting the husband affects the wife too.. And the wife does not cease to be a wife in our culture even if the husband is dead...
    And I think rules are not envisaged for children of same mother with different fathers because it was not seriously envisaged in our culture.. Sapatna Children can be there.. The terms step brother and half brother have different meanings with different set of people.. Some situation are not common in our culture and are even baffling... Of course commentators have even pondered over illegitimate births.. but there the rules of aasaucham applies on the basis of who is the real father of the child.. Of course maternity is identified with greater ease.. Correct me if I am wrong.

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  42. Can we call guest for lunch during 10 days pelai or suthakam period?

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. there can be no guests invited during aashaucham.. Of course, during aashaucham, the sapindas etc who are sharing the grief, can eat together.. but such blood relations are not guests by any stretch of imagination
      Such strict prohibition or guiests is not seen for Valamai or Vridhdhi soothakam..

      Delete
  43. my wife maternal uncle expired 13 days back she can see his wife tommorow and at what time

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  44. my wife maternal uncle expired 13 days back she can see his wife tommorow and at what time

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  45. namaskaram
    my father-in-laws chittappa"s wife has expired how many days pelai is there for my father-in-law and is there some pelai for 3 months?

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  46. Hello Sir,
    We are kannada sthanika brahmins. My father inlaw's elder brother's wife and son both expired a week back. We are observing sootka and last rituals are being performed for 13 days. We will not celebrate any festival for one year and we are also told not to visit any temple till one year. Kindly confirm whether this is true, bcoz I very much want to take my little son to kukke subramanya temple in another 2 months to complete my harke.

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  47. My father passed away three months back. I'm a married woman with daughter am i restrained from visiting big temples not hill or sea. I like visiting temples like tirumohur but not kuladeivam.

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  48. My father passed away three months back. I'm a married woman with daughter am i restrained from visiting big temples not hill or sea. I like visiting temples like tirumohur but not kuladeivam.

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  49. My daddy's elder brother expired on 30th march 2016 and my wife is currently three months pregnant . can we perform pooja's and baby shower function at home as one year is not completed.

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  50. Sir my wife is 8months pregnant now , Can i go to sabarimala now?

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  51. Sir If father's father passes away, how many days should i follow the asoucham rules? I am a brahmachari.

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  52. My Father was died on July 10th 2015 when I will Celebrate the One Year Death Anniversery Pooja . Monthly Mothly we are Doing the Pooja.
    7 month we have not done the pooja of my Father . what is the date When i Should do please Suggest......

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  53. I am a Tamil brahmin. My husbands brothers wife died. How many days of Valamai / theettu ? How many days I should not visit temple including family deity ?

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  54. My brothers daughter has given a birth to a male child.Is there Vridhi theettu for me and if so how many days.

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  55. Respected Sir,
    My fathers elder brother is passed away. How many days we should not celebrate festival..

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  56. Namasthe sir, please advise me
    my husband's own sister's husband expired recently. Any sutakam for my husband n my family?

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    Digital Marketing Services

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  58. Sir, my father-in-law mother died 3 months ago, but our father in law brother performed all rituals. Now this month can we give fruits & flowers to any god. Not going near to god just gives it for puja. Pls suggest thanks

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  59. Sir, my father-in-law mother died 3 months ago, but our father in law brother performed all rituals. Now this month can we give fruits & flowers to any god. Not going near to god just gives it for puja. Pls suggest thanks

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  60. im a brahmin girl my mother died 3 months ago..

    do i have to marry within one year of her death ??

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  61. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  62. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  63. My father's Chittappa's son (cousin brother) passed away 20 days back. Can we to visit our Kulaidevam or wait for 1 year

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  64. 7my spoke is carrying. My mother relatives r died can she can go to the rituals.

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  65. Hello Sir, I have a great respect for this blog, I am a bhramin and I have one basic question, recently one of the elder in neighbours house expired, my mother without crossing their home, asked one of the family member for condolences, do my mother need to take bath before entering our home.

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  66. Halo Sir
    I am wearing sabarimala from this karthika 1 date. My wife grandfather i.e my wife father - father is very serious and may die any time because of liver failure.
    I need to attend the death ceremony. I really dont know what to do. Can I remove the mala attend the death funureal then come back and wear mala.
    Please help me and advise

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  67. Hello sir.
    I lost my to be mother in law we are not yet engaged but they consider me a family member. How may days sutak will I have?

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  68. My husband is fasting for sabarimala. We are Telugu Brahmins. Is there pelai to be followed in case of my husband's maternal uncle's (mama) demise.what's the right procedure to be followed? Kindly assist.

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  69. If my husbands maternal uncle has passed away,howany days pelai will we have

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  70. Hello, When can a girl marry after performing last rites/head torch/Karmakand to her father? As she is the only daughter. she has to marry after 1 year or Can she marry after 6 months? If married Can she do one year death anniversary rituals(pinda pradhan on 1 year death anniversary)to her father?

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  71. My father died 15 days ago I am being Kartha doing doing his rites. Can I go to temple (Guruvayur being our Kula Deyvam)?

    Regards..Sivaramakrioshnan

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  72. Manohar19.01.2017 Sorry, my gnat hi adopted a boy after my uncles death. Now she is no more. But the boy has died recently and he is brahma hari.is 10 days suthakam applies to us.

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  73. Sir after the death confirmed I advised to place the head towards North funeral time towards south.. Asper other Post various vayu from body should pass through south not towards North. Anything wrong?

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  75. Hi Sir,

    A small doubt!!

    My mother me and my bro live along with my mom's father in their home and been bought up in their home itself.We need to attend a function at eluru.But suddenly my aunt's(my mother's brother wife) grand mother has expired in eluru itself. My grandfather(mom's father) is asking us to not to attend any function as my aunt's home is fulfilled with sadness.I am thinking that there is no interlink between my grandfather(mom's father) and our family but we are bought up by them though.I am thinking to attend the function.Can i ? or there is any superstition that i shouldn't?

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  76. We are Kanyakubj brahmins of Uttar Pradesh. My mother recently died. Can there be any marriage in the family before expiry of one year from the date of her death?

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  77. My dad's sister passed away. How many days of suthak do i have? I Am married and my surname has changed.

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  78. Hi sir, we are Madhwa Brahmins. I am delivered with baby girl who is 2.5 months old. Let me know when could we take our baby to temple and do archana on her name. TIA.

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  79. Hi sir, I have a question my father's brother (peddananna) has passed away.. but my marriage got fixed.. from the of his death 18 days is there for my marriage, is it be ok to do female marriage? Please suggest..

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  80. My niece born in the family to my cousin I am unmarried am I allowed to do Pooja ?

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  81. Namaste!Here is a request for clarification,After death of my elder brother,we should invite her on auspecious day.She had been to her children houses for 2years10 months in states.She has now reached to india.Can we invite her during these months Jyesta&Aashaada maasaas?We request for the early reply.thanking U.

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  82. I am scheduled to get married next week. My grandfather's brother's wife passed away. Do I have to observe patak?

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  83. what is the meaning of half brother and step brother...??



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  84. Sir, My wife is 8 month pregnant now, Can i go to sabarimala now?

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  85. Dear Sir,

    My grandmother died recently, How many months or year i need to wait for marriage

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  86. Sir, my husbands relatives passed away in may / June this year. He fathers side Chithi and periamma. Chithi early may, periamma early June. Can I do Pooja at home? We did have a wedding which could not be canceled and our house gruha pravesam

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  87. My elder brother passed away on 5th Sept 2016 which was the 1st day of Ganesh Chaturthi in the last year. I used to BRING Ganapati IDOL in my house for 7 days since last 5-6 years and celebrate all the rituals. Please let me know if there is some binding on me and my family to celebrate the Ganapati festival and keep Ganapati Idol in the house.....please advise.

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  88. My Elder Borther of my co-brother's mother passed way today. My co-brother has fixed a property registration tomorrow. Is it required to postpone the registration?

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  89. My father-in-law has expired yesterday night. Can I light diva and read Vishnu Sahasranamam.

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  90. Where can i see reply of my post?

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  91. My paternal grand father expired in this oct , i booked a home and planning house warming in april or may . Can i perform it

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  92. In the rules of asoucham, is there anything such that it applies to only parents but not to their married
    son n daughter in law though all are residing together.

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  93. My father's cousin (we are third generation) died thirty days back. Can we celebrate festival? We followed mourning of 30 days. Can my father go to sabari malai. We are Brahmins. Iyengar.

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  94. My father cousin died (third generation). We followed mourning of 30 days. Can we celebrate festival now? Whether my father can go to sabari malai? We are Brahmins iyengar

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  95. sir we are Tamil brahmin Iyer. my own elder brother died on 3rd of July 17 as he has no son I performed the death rituals and other rituals till last month. now my unmarried cousin sister aged 77 (father's elder brother's daughter) died on 10th January 18 and I have performed first two days rituals by taking darba grass from her elder sister. Remaining rituals are to be done from 18th January to 22 January 17. kindly guide as the opinions of purohits differ some say I can perform while others say I can't.

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  96. Sir my father in law's father's father's cousin family member has died 4 days back (he comes in 4th generation)n my sister's engagement is on 26th January can I attend the function

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  97. My grandmother's mother's sister's daughter died. Whether i should follow sutak?

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  98. My maternal uncle passed away ,my mother's brother, do we have suthakam.

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  99. Dear sir
    We have fixed upanayam for mymelder son and my husband's brother has gone to attend a death ceremony of far off relative.iam worried ifihe can continue to do so.. AsAtheA family doesn't follow any code of conduct i have trouble insisting this through my husband. My in laws dontd listen to my husbands' words. Can u please help state the reason whywwe don't entertain death news or attending a death when upanayanam is fixed?.. Expecting a fitting reply.rThanks sir
    Mrs balaji

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. It would be good if we get a response to this question. as I also have a similar question.
      -Hari.

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  100. Do I have asaucham if my maternal aunt's husband (periappa) passes? If so, how many days? Thank you! I'm an Iyengar.

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  101. I just want to give a quick advise to any one out there that is having difficulty in findng their Lost or Missing one to contact Dr.Agbazara because he is the only one that is capable to bring back your love once with his spiritual powers within time limit of 48 hours Like he did for me. You can contact Dr.Agbazara by email on ( agbazara@gmail.com ) OR Call/WHATSAPP: +234 81041 0 2662. And see wonders for your self.

    ReplyDelete
  102. My elder brother's wife died recently. We are hebbar iyengars. Can i conduct my son's marriage or should i wait for 1 year. I mean does the sutka apply.

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  103. Replies
    1. there is no bar in conducting marriages even if the parents pass away.. It is believed that if a marriage takes place in the family, the departed pitru is happy about it. If this is the case with own children, where is the problem about elder brothers wife ?

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    2. of course the marriage cannot happen within ten days of death.

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  104. Namaskar! We are tamil iyer brahmins.
    My mother-in-law's sister(unmarried) passed away this morning. How many days of ashowcham do I, my husband, my daughter and son have? We stay at Hyd she passed away at Chennai. In what cases does the ashowcham goes away when taken a bath as soon as a death news us heard? Sir, pls guide.

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    Replies
    1. if it is your husbands periyammai or chitthi, three days aashaucham from the date of death.. If the news is received after three days of death, just a bath.

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  105. hi we are Tamil bhramins today my husband periyappa passed away. my seemantham has been fixed on 24 th Aug. can you pls advice us wether it can conduct or not ??

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    1. seemantham and pumsavanam cannot be postponed and need not be postponed.. beyond ten days of death of the elder.... Of course, if you are sentimental about it the function can be restricted to just rituals without any ostentation. That is all.

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  106. My father's step cousin brother's wife, i.e my aunty passed away. For how many days should I follow ashowcham. My son is 20 yeatsyold. How much days he should follow ashowcham. I am Brahmin. Please guide.

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    1. if the cousin or step cousin is of your own gothra, that is from the fathers side, then you have ten days aashaucham
      if your son is not married and is a brahmachari, he has no aashaucham.. However, if he is married, he has ten days..
      Here it is presumed that you are a male.
      If you are a female. and now belong to a different family, no question of Aasaucha arises, except perhaps for a one and half days observation for you individually.

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  107. My mother in law passed away. after sixth month can we visit temple i am not a Brahmin. Please guide.

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    Replies
    1. not a question as to whether you are a brahmin or not.. If your husband and you are doing the ceremonies, the practice is that you should not visit temples for one year.. If any other brother is doing the Karma, then basically no prohbition.. But many do not visit temple for one year after the death of a parent.. for sentimental reasons. No book or text can answer this question.

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  108. Thank you sharing information. Wonderful blog & good post. Its really helpful for me, awaiting for more new post. Keep Blogging!
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  109. my broters dauter attained puberity on friday and bath will be on Sunday. Shall I visit temple on monday. I need clarification

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    Replies
    1. where is the prohibition for visiting temple for anyone other than the girl in her menstruation .. ?

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  110. My Grandma’s Brother passed away last evening. Just want to know do we have suthakam? If yes for how may days .. please guide us .. Thanks in advance

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    Replies
    1. basucally no soothakam for grand uncle.. However your father has three days soothakam if it is your fathers uncle.. If it is your mothers uncle, your mother has one and half days soothakam.

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  111. My husband bro has given birth to a boy baby. And I have planned for hair shaving function of my girl baby. How long is the vrithi teetu

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  112. Thanks for sharing the informative post! and know the well educated grooms and brides profiles in iyer grooms in Chennai and all over Tamil Nadu. Free Registration!

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  113. My father's mother's brother's wife (father's Uncle wife) passed away. How many days for my parents and for me. I am a lady married and having kids too

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  114. Thanks for detailed explanation , I had a question for a 11 year old female death, how many days of pelai should be observed and what are the rirtuals performed for the 10th day and the 12th day. Request your suggestions

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  115. Hai, we are Telugu brahmin. My paternal grandfathers's 2nd sister has passed away. I am married to my cousin (My paternal grandfather's 1st sister's grandson). How many days pelai/theetu for me.

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    Replies
    1. no pelai is prescribed for paternal gradfathers sister.. However if your father is living with you, he will have to observe three days pelai. and therefore the house will have three days mourning.

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  116. I have one question. We are brahimans and our surname relative, who belongs to 6th stage of our family's surname (6th PIDI)is expired today. In this connection,should we follow SUTHAKAM for 10 days?

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    Replies
    1. views differ on this issue.. The standard practice is to have ten day soothakam for seven generations.. Some isolated texts prescribe three days for the fourth to seventh genarations.

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  117. Namaskaram, I have one question. Recently my grandfather's brother's son died. In this connection, i have done Kuzhi tharpanam. So my question here is can i visit kuladaivam temple and other temple? and shall we do Maavilakku at our home? Thanks.

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    Replies
    1. Basically there is no bar.. the person is only a samanodhaka.. not appearing in the direct three generation hierarchy.. So the grieving stops with the kuzhi tarpanam on the tenth day and completion of pelai on the the eleventh morning..
      If you are particular, you may observe one months restriction, but nothing beyond that.

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  118. Sir Namaskaram I have question my mothers sister,not married spinster died. How many days theetu kindly advice. and how about doing karmas
    Right now for first daykariyams my younger brother is doing later karms can i do what should i do for remaing karmas .

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  119. Sir Namaskaram I have question my mothers sister,not married spinster died. How many days theetu kindly advice. and how about doing karmas
    Right now for first daykariyams my younger brother is doing later karms can i do what should i do for remaing karmas .

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    Replies
    1. you have three days thettu.. The antyeshti is done only in a brief way in such cases.. Even Sapindeekaranam is done in a restricted way.. No parvana sraaddham is necessary at any time.. Usually, it is the duty of the one who performed the Karma to do the annual ceremony.. Others have no role in it.

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  120. Sir Namaskaram. My elder sister passed awayon 25.9.2019. I observed three days pelai. Iam married. I would like to know after how many days i can go to the temple. Also whether i can celebrate Navarathri pooja. Can I recite Bhagavatham, devi mahatmyam etc during the Navarathri period in my home.

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    Replies
    1. it is presumed that you and your sister are all married away to different families and belong now to different gothram.. Actually, there is no bar in doing any religious practice at your home after the three days pelai.. and at worst after the 12 th day of death.. nothing need be skipped.. But if your sentiments do not permit, you may observe 30 days mourning.

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  121. My paternal aunts husband passed away today. What is the asoucham period fo me. I'm married with 2 kids.

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    Replies
    1. there is no aashaucham at all if it is your athais husband. The aashaucham is only for athai.. and for marumaan and his wife it is three days, and for a married niece, it is just one and half day.. But not aashaucham for death of athimbyar.

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  122. My husband married sister passed away in JUly 2019. Can we go to hill temple and kuladeivam temple.

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    Replies
    1. there are no strict rules against such visit.. However, there is an estabhlished acharam that the grief is observed at least up to 13 days plus 41 days.. that is upto 54 days after the incident.. Some observe grief for the girl of the family upto three months too.. Some would say that if the deceased person is younger to you no such acharam need be observed.. Such things have to be decided observing the practices in the original agraharam and family you belonged.. However, by the law of averages, 54 days observation might be okay.

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  123. I am adopted to a different family with same Surname and Gothra at an age of 14 years. Now I am 50 years with family. If my own father's brother's wife (aunt) dies, will I have suthakam ? If yes, how many days ?

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    Replies
    1. even for a datta putra, some hold the view that aashaucham of three days for the aunt from the original family is called for. Some hold the view that it is just one and half day.. Anyway there should be at least one and half days. but no tarpanam and all.

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  124. My mother brother passed away today we have any suthakam

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    Replies
    1. if you are a male you have three days aashaucham.. Nowaday no tarpanam. Your wife too will have similar three days aashaucham.
      if you are married female the aashaucham is one and half days, for yourself.. Your husband is not affected.

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  125. In the case of Samonathakar (Gnathi above seven generation), is any kuzhi tharpanam to be done on or after 3 days. Kindly guide me. Namaskarams

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  126. My husband's cousin brother had a baby that was prematurely born and was in the NICU for a month and passed away. Would that require observance of theetu for the parents and us, as the peripa and perina (cousins) of the baby? For how long?

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  127. My father died at Dec 7 2019. My sister son did karma . He is 5 yrs boy. Can wear Krishna getup to his. Pls tell me we can't perform any puja any festival just for photo can wear Krishna getup to his tell me

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  128. My own brother adopted to my father's grandfather's step brother. My brother died(75).Theettu for myself? Please kindly inform

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  129. Yes, you will have Suithakam gabin a blood relationship.
    Also your brother adopted with in your family circles

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  130. My mother-in-law expired 2 months back and since she doesn't have any sons (only daughters), it was decided that her grandson can do it, however the elder grandson of my elder cobrother could not do it and so I did the last rites (karthruthvam) under my son's name. Are we allowed to celebrate any festivals for one year?

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  131. My father's maternal uncle's wife passed away .I am married male of telugu Brahmin.Father is no more.Will I have aashaucham? Or snanam is sufficient?

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  132. My mother in law expired in 6 monthjs ago.shall i take samacharanan inthis period? Shall i visit our jeeyars place

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  133. My mother in law expired in 6 monthjs ago.shall i take samacharanan inthis period? Shall i visit our jeeyars place

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  134. Our maternal uncle ie grandma's elder brother passed away yesterday 28th October 2020 how many days theetu 1 day or more pl clarify

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  135. I am married, do I have to observe sutaka for my mothers sister death

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  136. My father's brother expired. Shall I perform Upanayanam and marriage to my son within one year.

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  137. My wife's paternal aunty expired. Will there be any suthakam for me and my wife, and my children.

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  138. When mother's dad's brother passes away how many days suthakam is to be observed

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  139. Sir
    My chittappa son passed away.he is younger to me.should I need to do kuzhi tharpanam on the tenth day or is is for younger ones to the deseased

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  140. Sir, my father's brother's wife died. She had no son, hence her Son-in-law performed the last rituals.
    As We are having same surname and gothra (Srivatsasa), we did observe 10 days period.
    Real question is whether me, my son's family observe 1 year without celebrating festivals and not visiting temples.
    I request you please clarify this issue.
    Thanks and regards

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  141. my uncles brother expired. he is my kanyaa dhaata. how many days suthakam

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  142. my uncles brother expired. he is my kanyaa dhaata. how many days suthakam

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  143. My father In law passed away 10 months back can we do pathuka pooja in our house. I invite friends and family members.

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  144. Namaskaram Sir🙏If you furnish the theettu vishayam in Malayalam & Tamil it will be so useful.

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  145. Sir,
    Vanakkam. I have a major doubt, please clear my doubt sir. I lost my father long back, by then my elder brother age is around 15. We are actually malayalee. But my father is spirutual person. He built a temple even. After few years my younger brother committed suicide at the age of 20. After few years my sisters husband committed suicide and now I lost my elder brother in corona. My mind says some rituals what we have to do for my brother was done, due to which my whole family is suffering with some loss. Kindly tell us what we have to do.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete