Saturday, December 4, 2010

Suthakam and Asowcham

Suthakam-Asowcham
Compiled by P.R.Ramachander

Many of you may not familiar with this Sanskrit terminology and would find the above words difficult to understand. In our parts (village near Trichur), it is called Pelai and Valamai. Possibly different terminologies are used about it among our community itself in different parts. An article in this subject has been written by SriVatsa Ve. Somadeva Sharma in the latest issue of Brhama Sandesham (april 2003). This is based on an authoritative book called “Vaidyanatha Deekshitham-Asowcha Kandam.”I am giving here only the high lights Please note that Gnathi or Sapindar or Dayadhi are all those people who belong to seven generations of our paternal Family.

Suthakam or Valamai
This is the ten-day period of exclusion observed by certain family members when a child is born in the family. If a male child is born in a family all the Gnathis have to observe ten days of exclusion .If a sraddham comes during this period it has to be carried out after ten days only. Normally people do not visit temples during this period. This is not applicable to unmarried girls and Brahmacharis in the family. They are not affected by Suthakam,
A: The following people should observe Valamai* for 10 days: -

1.Married Brothers of the newborn baby
2.Married Step and half brothers
3.Wives of the brothers
4.Father, Fathers brothers
5.Paternal cousins of father
6.Paternal grandfather and his brothers and paternal cousins and their wives.

The following people should observe three days of exclusion: -

1.Maternal grandfather and grandmother

The following people should observe one day of exclusion: -

1.Uncle of the baby

The mother should observe 30 days exclusion in case of male child and 40 days exclusion in case of female child. After this she should wear new Mangalya Charadu, and take Panchagavyam. After this only she is eligible to touch the vessels in the house.

B: Asowcham or Pelai

During this period except bath and sandhya vandanam nothing else should be performed.

(1) Ten days Pelai

The following people should observe Pelai if death occurs in the family except in case when the male baby dies before ten days of birth or after marriage in case of female children: -
1.Father
2.Mother
3.Brothers
4.Step and half brothers
For male children of less than 7 years who had upanayanam and all of them above seven years, all the gnathis should observe ten days Pelai
(2) Three days Pelai
When death occurs to the above category of people the following people should observe three days of Pelai
1.Maternal grand parents
2.Maternal uncle and his wife
3.Parents in law
4.Mother’s sisters
5.Paternal aunts (Athai)
6.Sisters son whose Upanayanam is performed
7.Daughter’s son whose upanayanam is performed
8.Gnathis above seven generation called Samonathakar
9.Married daughter
10.Married sister
11.Real parents in case of adopted child
12.Son who has been given in adoption
13.All girls in families of Gnatis who are above 7 years but not married
14.From 25 month old to 6 years male children in Gnathis families who did not have upanayanam
(3) Special three days Pelai for married girls that is not shared by their husband or children
1.Brother who had Upanayanam
2,Brothers son who had Upanayanam
3.Sister’s son who had upanayanam
4.Step Mother of mother
(4) one and half days Pelai(two nights and a day or two days and one night)
(a)For Males
1.Paternal Aunts children
2.Maternal uncle’s children
3.Mother’s sisters and their children
4.Sister’s daughter
5.Married daughter of own brother
6.Daughter of paternal uncles
7.Son’s daughter
8.Daughter’s daughter
9.Daughter’s son whose Upanayanam has not been performed
10.Sister’s son whose upanayanam has not been performed

(b)For Ladies
1.Paternal uncles and their children
2.Maternal aunts and their children
3.Maternal uncle and their children
4.Paternal aunt and their children
5.Paternal grand parents
6.Maternal grand parents
7.Own sister and her daughter
8.Brother’s daughter

Ramachander

56 comments:

  1. Thanks For detailed update on this.. But still need a small clarificacation on above. As I was planning to go sabarimalai and during this period my Dad's Elder Sister passed away. In this scenario, how many days pelai for me.(am married and having child too).

    Swami sarnam

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  2. You have asoucha for two days and one night after the death,

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  3. Dear sir,

    I have a question. We are brahmins. My uncle who is elder brother to my father has expired a few months ago. He has the same surname as we have. Now it is said in vedas that we must follow one year suthakam right. Does it applies to his children or all gollakota[our surname] people? Are we eligible to celebrate festivals in this one year or not? Please do clarify my doubt. thanks

    Gayathri.

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  4. These are more of a practice of families.Please do follow your family custom, Ramachander

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  5. sir,
    i am nambisan residing in kannur district of kerala. i had my upanayanam. my father being an atheist did not put me through the brahmanical rituals. now after completing my graduation i am feeling incomplete as a brahmin. i even dont know whether i am a rig vedi or other ones. i want to live like a brahmin, not because it is the most superior one, instead it gives u opening to the world of great knowledge. please sir help me out.

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    Replies
    1. Great to see this post. I know many people who have started learning vedas after 18- 20 years. It is just a matter of getting a Guru. Start searching for a learned person who can guide you near your place.
      You already undergone upanayanam, so you are ready for next steps.
      Forget about what happenned till now, concentrate on what needs to be done.
      You can search in the net for stories of bopadeva, satyakama jabaala etc for inspiration.

      Delete
  6. what is mean by danuta panchami?

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  7. My mother died 20days ago.is my father come to my home for stay.
    I am the second daughter married having 2 children's.

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  8. My son's marriage is fixed before the apthiagam rituals of my father. What are the rules as per brahmin custom - iyers for the masigam to be performed before and after his marriage. Would be obliged for an answer.

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  9. We are from a Tamil Iyer Brahmin (Vadama) family. I have my widowed mother. My maternal chitappa (mother's sister's husband) passed away on 5th April 2015. Can I attend the 9th,10th day rituals ?

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  10. You can definitely attend the tenth day rituals as well as the last day function.

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  11. Dear sir

    My mother passed away 6 months ago, now can i go for temples like tirupathi, sabarimala, please advice me

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  12. Dear sir
    My Chittappa (my father's father (grandpa) and my chittappa's father are brothers) passed away last month, how long should we refrain from going to Kula devatha temple and hill temples like palani. Also can we go to temples to perform our "nerchai". Should we need to wait for 1 yr to complete

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  13. Dear sir
    My grandfather brothers wife expired on 6th I was planning to go to tirupathi can we visit the temple before 10th day

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  14. If it is your paternal grand father , you should not go to the temple.

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  15. When mother's sister's son passes away how many days Asowcham to be observed

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  16. Hello sir,
    My grandfathers brother's son passed away on March. Me, my parents, my grandparents stay together, so I wanted to know can we celebrate ganesh chaturthi this year?

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  17. My husband's chittappa' son is blessed with a female child. How many days valamai is to be observed?

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  18. Dear Sir,

    My paternal Grand father brothers wife passed away.

    Will it be a 3 day Asoucham or 10 day Asoucham for me, kindly guide

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  19. My friends daughter wedding is on 23 of October ... Brides paternal grand father expired on 18 October ..... Can the wedding continue on the said day .... They belong to choudary caste of Hindus .....

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  20. Dear sir,
    My father brothers wife passed away on may 2015. Can I go Sabarimala yathra this year or should wait for 1 year.

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  21. Dear sir,

    My son was born at 2 am.... so how is punyavchanam date to be calculated.... 2am on saturday so is it a friday or saturday he was born to be taken.... please advise...

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  22. whwn a grandson or grand daughter is borne for how days we have to observe for resuming devatarchana like siva panchayatana pooja and gayatri

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  23. sir my name is naveen iam 31 years old born in 12 jan 1984 at 3 am ---recently i got my marriage fixed with jyothi 25 years old age ----the problem is the marriage date is on 20 novermber 2015 suddenly our grandfathers brother wife died on 29 october 2015 ---should i wait for one year --or i can marry in the same date -- if i have to wait for some time --how much time i should wait--- please tell me fast sir

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  24. sir my name is naveen iam 31 years old born in 12 jan 1984 at 3 am ---recently i got my marriage fixed with jyothi 25 years old age ----the problem is the marriage date is on 20 novermber 2015 suddenly our grandfathers brother wife died on 29 october 2015 ---should i wait for one year --or i can marry in the same date -- if i have to wait for some time --how much time i should wait--- please tell me fast sir

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  25. sir my name is naveen iam 31 years old born in 12 jan 1984 at 3 am ---recently i got my marriage fixed with jyothi 25 years old age ----the problem is the marriage date is on 20 novermber 2015 suddenly our paternal grandfathers brother wife died on 29 october 2015 ---should i wait for one year --or i can marry in the same date -- if i have to wait for some time --how much time i should wait--- please tell me fast sir

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  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  27. What solution for avittam Panjemi. My dad die in 19-11-2015 on avittam Panjemi...

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  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  29. dear sir,
    i have a question .my dads uncle who is younger brother to my grand father ha expired a few days ago he has same surname as we have .he had no children then my father did karma.now it said in vedas that we must follow one year suthakam .does it applies for me.are we aligible to celebrate festivals and we can do marriage to my daughter or not?
    please clarify my doubt
    thank u

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  30. Dear Sir,

    My father expired 4 months back. For How long I should not visit Tirupathi ? My Kula deivam is Narasinga perumal.

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  31. Dear Sir,

    My father expired 4 months back. For How long I should not visit Tirupathi ? My Kula deivam is Narasinga perumal.

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  32. Hi Sir,
    My sister & myself planning to buy land and want to build 2 floor house.Can we stay in same land.I heard brother and sister should not live on same land or house.Is it true.

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  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  34. Dear sir, what if I am planing to get married this or next year & my soon going to be husband's grandfather's demise occurs in this year.. What are the rules for getting married now.. How many years should we wait..??

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  35. Sir
    Namaskaram

    There is a boy whose elder brother passed away on May 2014 and on this Jan 2016 his mother passed away.
    When can he get married?
    can he go for registered marriage in March 2016?

    highly obliged

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  36. My mother in law mother passed away. Do I have pelai?

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  37. My mother in law mother passed away. Do I have pelai?

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  38. I can perform char dham yatra of uttarakhand if my wife pregenant

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  39. Dear Sir,
    My paternal grandfather's elder brother's daughter in law expired on 2Feb 2016, i was told that we cannot go to temples till the 13th day, can we visit Tirupati during this year.

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  40. My husband Mama passed away. How many days we have pellai?

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  41. Mama, Namaskaram...Of course there are observations exclusive for the ladies.. not including the husband.. But there is no exclusion for the wife when the husband is to observe aasaucham.. So if maternal uncle is liable for aasaucham, aunt or mami is also to observe.. and even if the mama is dead, mami will have to observe.. Likewise,if maruman is to observe pelai, marumans wife also should observe the same.. and this is binding even if the maruman is dead.. This is what I understand from your post and also from texts like smrithi chandrika, though, the matter is just settled by a statement that every aasaucham affecting the husband affects the wife too.. And the wife does not cease to be a wife in our culture even if the husband is dead...
    And I think rules are not envisaged for children of same mother with different fathers because it was not seriously envisaged in our culture.. Sapatna Children can be there.. The terms step brother and half brother have different meanings with different set of people.. Some situation are not common in our culture and are even baffling... Of course commentators have even pondered over illegitimate births.. but there the rules of aasaucham applies on the basis of who is the real father of the child.. Of course maternity is identified with greater ease.. Correct me if I am wrong.

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  42. Can we call guest for lunch during 10 days pelai or suthakam period?

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  43. my wife maternal uncle expired 13 days back she can see his wife tommorow and at what time

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  44. my wife maternal uncle expired 13 days back she can see his wife tommorow and at what time

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  45. namaskaram
    my father-in-laws chittappa"s wife has expired how many days pelai is there for my father-in-law and is there some pelai for 3 months?

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  46. Hello Sir,
    We are kannada sthanika brahmins. My father inlaw's elder brother's wife and son both expired a week back. We are observing sootka and last rituals are being performed for 13 days. We will not celebrate any festival for one year and we are also told not to visit any temple till one year. Kindly confirm whether this is true, bcoz I very much want to take my little son to kukke subramanya temple in another 2 months to complete my harke.

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  47. My father passed away three months back. I'm a married woman with daughter am i restrained from visiting big temples not hill or sea. I like visiting temples like tirumohur but not kuladeivam.

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  48. My father passed away three months back. I'm a married woman with daughter am i restrained from visiting big temples not hill or sea. I like visiting temples like tirumohur but not kuladeivam.

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  49. My daddy's elder brother expired on 30th march 2016 and my wife is currently three months pregnant . can we perform pooja's and baby shower function at home as one year is not completed.

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  50. Sir my wife is 8months pregnant now , Can i go to sabarimala now?

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  51. Sir If father's father passes away, how many days should i follow the asoucham rules? I am a brahmachari.

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  52. My Father was died on July 10th 2015 when I will Celebrate the One Year Death Anniversery Pooja . Monthly Mothly we are Doing the Pooja.
    7 month we have not done the pooja of my Father . what is the date When i Should do please Suggest......

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  53. I am a Tamil brahmin. My husbands brothers wife died. How many days of Valamai / theettu ? How many days I should not visit temple including family deity ?

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  54. My brothers daughter has given a birth to a male child.Is there Vridhi theettu for me and if so how many days.

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