Pani Grahanam(holding of hand) –an important ritual in Hindu marriage

Pani Grahanam(holding of hand)   –an important ritual  in Hindu marriage

By

P.R.Ramachander

Holding  the bride’s  hand   is a very important  vedic ritual  in all  Hindu marriages  With   each of us   giving   shake   hand   to hundreds of the other sex (pani  Grahanam)  it has lost  all its   ritual   significance

     In a hindu marriage  , first   the father  of the bride  , given her to  the proposed  groom   and requests him to get married to her, He then ties Mangalya(not a vedic ritual)     and then the  groom lowers his right palm and encloses it over the right hand of the bride. He covers all the five fingers of the right hand of the bride with his right palm through this act of paani grahanam. He recites mantras in praise of Bhaga, Aryama, Savita, Indra, Agni, Suryan, Vayu and Saraswati, while holding the bride's hand. He prays for long life, progeny, prosperity and harmony with the bride during their married life. The closed fingers of the right hand of the bride is said to represent her heart. The paani grahanam ritual symbolizes the bride surrendering her heart in the hands of the groom during the occasion of the marriage. It is also  a vedic ritual  , where  he promises  that  he would hold her hand   and lead  her  safely  in their  married life).This means  it is an extremely  important   step in their marriage.

 But   very strangely  in  Tamil Brahmin marriages he holds  bride’s  hand  much before  the  Vedic marriage  ceremonies  begin  , just after Oonjal(swing) as per instruction of the Brahmin priest  or even previous day  during Nischayathartham  .. The groom then takes her to the stage , does several  vedic ceremonies  concluded  by  Mangalya  Dharanam, followed  by   real Pani Grahanam (when they become  husband   and wife). We in Tamil Nadu   also used to call marriage  as Panigrahanam  once upon  a time    and even today  the Telugu  Brahmins call  their  marriage   as “Pani Grahanamu “ .

  Maha Periyava   has stressed about this several times  but in a society   every girl does “Panigrahanam” to each and every male   she is introduced,Talking about this is meaningless

   Just now   I read  from a Hindi site  that “Paani graham”   is acceptance of water  by the groom from the bride  and one of my friends told “never accept  Pani (water ) from a girl  other than your wife.”

   Hope that also is true.

Some good recommended habits

Some good  recommended  habits

Translated  by

P.R.Ramachander

(I have translated  and posted   several,such recommendations.This is another. But it is believed that you have tofoillow the habits recommended by the family  and not recommendations  by any one outside, however great he may be)

1,You should not bite your  nails with your teeth  as it is a dirty and unhealthy habit.

2,You should b not run  while it is raining(you may fall down)

3,While taking food  you should not press the ground by   your left hand

4.You should not take  bath without cloth

5.You should not blow fire with mouth

6.You should not cut your hair    on Tuesdays, Fridays , Chathurthi  , Chathurdasi  , sashti , Pournami, and b navami  but if these thithis occur on a Sunday or Thursday, you can cut your hair( Please do not ask me whether this is applicable to shaving)

7.You should not throw dirty things or live  insects  in fire

8,In temples you should not bathe at night.In Kasi you can

9.You should not see your shadow in water   and oil

10.You should not eat in darkness but only oiin well lit places

11.While eating , you should eat sweet first and then bitter in the end 

12,You should not eat with wet cloth or untied hair

13.You should not eat Nellikkai(gooseberry)  , Ginger  , curd and  fried things at night

14,You should not take bath  immediately after  bidding good bye to relatives

15.You should not cross the   rope  used to tie calf and cow

16.If ladies cry, riches will fly away

17.Ladies should not be with untied hair nor scratch their    hair with their two hands

18,A Brahmachari   should not carry corpse   of people other than his parents

The Dharma of Brahmins

The  Dharma  of Brahmins

Translated  by

P.R.Ramachander

(the  original tamil text is in the blog  https://ramakrishnan6002.wordpress.com/2019/05/13/brahmana-dharmam/.My thanks to the author)

1.All Brahmins   have to understand   their Dharma   and follow it to the best of their ability.

2,A Brahmin should not   sleep at dawn and dusk

3.We should definitely do  SAndhya Vandhanam    which is a daily  ritual

4.Men should  do rituals wearing    a white  dhothi and white upper cloth.They should not wear  coloured   cloth at that time

5.Ladies should not chant Veda Manthras

6.When doing rituals , men should wear  Pancha Kacham  and Uthareeyam

7.Married Women when they light the lamp  should wear 9 yards Sari(madi saar)

8.The  cloth  , slippers  , meals plate  , bed  and garland   worn by a person    should not be used by others.

9.Except  at times when after death rituals dictate   wearing wet cloths, it should not be worn.

10.No lady should  keep the tip of her hair not tied   unless the priest tell.

11.Every individual    should keep a  separate water pot

12.All rituals should be done   on land never upstairs

13.There are  two types  of Karmas  -Nithya(daily)    and Naimithika( due to some reason)

14.If we do not do sandhya vandhanam , it is a sin

15.If a person does not do Sandhya Vandanam , all the other rituals he does , does not have any use.

16.Sradha should be performed bysons individually

17.While  performing any ritual , in the middle you should not talk

18.The Sradha  of Father  and mother  should be done as per rules

19.From childhood,  children should  be taught  rules of religion   as well as rituals of day today life

20, We should avoid living a life of Luxury

21.No ritual would give results without  our physical involvement

22,We have to follow   our Dharma   and protect it

23.From the temple   we should not bring Prasada   except things like  sacred ash, kumkum,  Thulasi   and Vilwa leaf

24.Grahasthas  should do Oupasana  atleast in two pakshas   of the year.They should do Sthaleepaka  on Prathama

25.Since we are descendents of sages, we  should follow  the smrithis found out by them

26.We  do not have power  to alter  Sruthi  or Sastra

27. Dharma sastras are there  separately for   men, women  , children  , sick people as  well those   who are not Brahmins,

28.Our religion prohibits   Divorce of men and women  under all circumstances

29.If a man realizes that   the wife he has married as per Dharma has a defect or disease , the person can marry again but look after her in his home.

30. After doing after death rites  of mother and father  or observing ten day  taint for our Dhayadhi(Paternal relations) , men should shave  on the tenth day.

31.The rituals  as per sasthras  can only be done  at the ground floors

32.Only after  she shaves  the head after  her husband dies, the death traint of her husband leaves her.When they are like this   they are prohibited from going to temple, chant manthras etc

33. Cremating  a  dead body of orphan  , worshipping Shiva linga  which has no body to worship it and helping the poor   and blind destroys all the sins you might have committed

34.Any house where  no sound of chanting of Vedas are heard  . where  no rituals are performed and which is not  visited by Vedic Scholars  is equal to cremation ground

35. If we wash the cloths after bath and dry it   and wearit next day, only Nithya  Karmas  can be performed

36.For other Karmas specially Sradha , we have to take bath , wash cloth  , dry it and wear the same day

37.A dried cloth which has  seen two suns., should not be used  for  doing Karmas

38.We should never find fault  with those   who have learnt Vedas

39.Gas stove should not be used  for rituals

40.WE should understand the ritual we are doing and perform it with full faith  and attention

41. The priests should learn Dharma  Sastras   well and then only help in conducting it

42.When a priest  gets done a ritual against Dharma Sastras , the sin would come to him via DAkshina which they take

43.A person only doing Nithya Karmas  is better  than those who learn   Vedas and Sastras but never  use it.